Life && Friends

&& life leaves you barely breathing...

gasping "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger."

I have dealt with so much in the past few months.

Yet I believe it...

what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

Friendship has been a bust lately.

All I have dealt with is lies...

lies...

and more lies.

Well I believe that I am done with them.

&& barbie, I am done with you.

So I had a lovely evening with Holly and Shane Wednesday night. lol So much fun... but no details sorry. Just been hanging out really, had Thanksgiving with Zach and a couple others, it was fun actually.

Well I got a new puppy and her name is Dyna and she is absolutely beautiful. I love her to death. Jeff also got a dog and she is called Daygo after the first Boozette. Here are some pictures...

Dyna...

This is my cousin Kayla. Beautiful.

Me, Jessie and Brandi at lunch

Me and Whitney

Me and Kayla

I am back. Unfortunately. This past trip was unezplainable, I have never been happier in my life but now I am back and so is reality. Sux.

It is really weird how one minute your life is wonderful... and the next you just want to break down and cry.

I <333 the new... yet miss the old.

I'm pretty sure Emily looked GORGEOUS at the homecoming game! I absolutely <3333 her!

And again, I screw up the only good part of my life. What is my problem? I knew I shouldn't have done that but I did anyways... I knew I shouldn't have done it right before I came home but I did. Whatever.. It's MY fault and nobody else's. I just noticed how much I have changed since last year... sometimes I wish I could go back.

So who are the coolest people ever? I will try to name all of you... if I dont let me know.

Holly Jo, Ashley Tyson, Chelsea Hickman, Emily Ford, Emily Prichard, Amy Meyers, Marissa Sparschu, Frankie Cope, Anthony Henes, Anthony Pederson, Sarah Collings, Mitchell Stem,  Brittany Hill, Jillian Love, Lauren Simmons, Lindsay Messick, Samantha Messick, Ali Hutchison, Karlyn Ladd, Lauren List, Jessie Hoaglin, Bentley Plaskett, Jessie Phimavong, Brandi Ward, Kayla Neely, Courtney Kirby, Brittany Arcement, Ashley Mears, Cassie Frits, Caety Carter, Ashley Lewis, Dana Pare, Samantha T, Katie Lower, Whitney Thompson, Brian Grinnell, Joe Campanella, Matt Beatty, Courtney Kershaw, Brandon Taylor, Nicole Campanella, Kylie Padgett, Tabi Stem, Analisa Ramirez, David Summerall... and you know what? I am bored and I give up. If your not on here let me know, and I am super sorry. I will totally fix it.  Oh and Shane Hinton... lol

Misty Dean Smith... I love you girl with all my heart and I am sorry that this whole situation has been happening. I really hope to see you soon and I am glad that everything is good between us.

For my guy....

Let me just say that I DO really miss you. I miss the way that we would just sit there and talk about nothing. The way I ALWAYS had to be okay with what you were doing and how you justified everything to me. I miss the way that you would look into my eyes and I would feel safe. I miss feeling nice and warm in your arms when it was freezing cold outside. I miss those nights on the couch with you and sitting in front of the fire with you. I miss being with you til 4 in the morning and you taking me the "long way" home. I miss how you  could always make me smile no matter what was wrong with me. I miss you caring about everything in my life, whether friends or family or just stupid things. I miss the dance you used to do for me and the way everything was always ok with you. I miss our song and our jokes. I miss the fun we used to have and I miss your touch.... but most of all I just miss you....

To my best friend....

Your always so far away and it feels like we are drifting apart. I miss you so much.... the way we could sit there and laugh about anything and the way we were always kidding or joking or playing. I miss you always being here, always with me, being my sister. I miss talking to you for two hours on the phone every night about anything and everything. I miss the four o'clock wake ups and the Friday night outings. I miss the trying to sneak in conversations while being followed and our codes that we talk in..  I miss you SOOO much... and I love you. You are my best friend in the whole world and my sister. I will always be there to talk you out of  doing stupid things and as a shoulder for you to cry on. I will always be here for you to talk to and you never have to hesitate to call. You can talk to me about anything and I am not going to judge... I was playin bout your "little" mistake only because I love you so much and I know your hurting even though you dont want to admit it to yourself. I know you care about me and you would do anything for me... and I want you to know that it is the same both ways. I miss you hunnie....

You're cynical and beautiful
You always make a scene
You're monochrome delirious
You're nothing that you seem
I'm drowning in your vanity
Your laugh is a disease
You're dirty and you're sweet
You know you're everything to me

[[she strikes a pose && dies inside]]

((no one knows she`s a beautiful suicide))

~*//((EdIt BoX))//*~

I am pretty sure that I am like super home-sick right now. It sucks much... but school is pretty good. Made new friends of course... but I miss the old ones too. So I am going to end this  talking about them....

Whitney Thompson, Emily Ford, and Kayla Neely... there is nothing much to say cuz these girls are like the most beautiful and cool people ever.  Like no joke. lol I miss you gurls.....

It's so hard

Because I know exactly how I feel

And I hate it

But yet, I can't explain it.

I miss last year's friends

and I hate that it's not the same

My beautiful friends from last year....

Kayla Neely

Emily Ford

Whitney Thompson

Ali Hutchison

Chelsea Hickman

Samantha Messick

Beth Dubbins

Sammie Jo

Courtney K.

Brandon Taylor

Heather K

Cory D

Our little right triangle....

I miss you guys oh so much... I promise.